The Actual Reframe

Estimated reading ⌛️ time - 7 minutes

Hello Reframers!

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F*** Cancer

This wasn’t originally on the agenda to discuss this week, but another thought was heavy on my heart that I had to get off my chest. A beloved school admin of mine was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer in February, and I just found out about it earlier this week. I’m not active on social, so I usually find out about things a few months later. After getting his colon removed and going through a few rounds of chemo, he recently discovered that the cancer had spread to his liver. Taking care of this is now his main priority.

In his charismatic and silly way, he said the only way I could help him was to come back and speak at my alma mater. The man is relentless! If you knew him, you’d know how much he delights in having old students come back and say hello, but most importantly, share tidbits of advice and wisdom with our bright-eyed and bushy-tailed students. Even in his battle with stage four cancer, he’s thinking about how to serve other people!

This newsletter is not about him, but our quick text convo was the impetus of my deep introspection and contemplation of what I want my life to be like.

As someone who is incredibly “future-focused,” saves for retirement, and thinks about my to-be hypothetical kids and one-day legacy, I thought to myself… “What if I sacrificed my whole life and suddenly realized I was sacrificing for the wrong thing?” Financial independence/freedom has always been at or near the top of my list, and it often feels like it’s what I sacrifice for most. I often get overwhelmed with anxiety and struggle with my self-worth when I lack in my financial discipline or when I feel like I’m not where I need to be yet.

If “hustle culture” had a monthly subscription, I’d pay for the premium membership. I value hard work, effort, and waking up at 4 AM daily. I’m basically one of those hyper-masculine lions fending the sheep memes 🤣🤣🤣.

Please don’t judge me - this is a joke. 🤣🤣🤣

Although somewhat humorous, a scaled-back version of this mentality has gotten me to where I am today. This mindset is vastly important to me and is an integral part of my identity, but this deep introspection made me re-think a few things….

The Unofficial List of What Really Matters

• Have More Fun: The unofficial motto I adopted after buying the hat you see me wearing above - it’s simple yet profound.

• Make your days count: Doing something important to you and beneficial to others.

• Leave it better than you found it: People, the planet, the car you borrow, etc.

• You make people feel loved and seen: You are kind when you don’t have to be, you stand up for people who can’t stand up for themselves, and you love unconditionally; always assuming positive intent.

• You don’t fear death: If you live each day to its fullest, you can face the uncertainty of disease and/or death with no regrets, knowing that each day is just a microcosm of your life.

• You are optimistically realistic: You recognize the reality of your life (for better or worse) but romanticize the potential for a “better” tomorrow.

• Pet more dogs

Finding Your Balance

This looks different for everyone…. spend x% of your money on this, save x% of your income, and work out 4x per week… There’s advice or guidelines for just about everything. Only consume 2-3 alcoholic drinks per week. 

Give yourself grace as you fumble through what is realistic and works for you. This is something I am actively working on and currently struggle with quite a bit. I want to lose weight, but I LOVE pizza. I want to save money, but I LOVE buying new shoes. The list goes on… There's a balance to it all and it’s on you to figure out what “balance” means to you.

I Think I Like This Little Life

Closing the loop on my sporadic thoughts… life is fragile, delicate, and sometimes unfair. We never know what unexpected thing or things may happen. No matter how much planning we do, there will always be something unexpected, unplanned, or even uncalled for. May we all prioritize what really matters and live our lives to the absolute fullest.

Lastly, to all of my friends dealing with or impacted by someone fighting cancer or other serious diseases, know that I love you and am with you. ❤️

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